Notes on Get Together: How to build a community with your people

get together cover.jpg

When I read it: January 2020

Why I read it: One of LegUp’s current ventures (GroupCurrent) provides outsourced community management for member-based groups. GroupCurrent’s founding client, PandoLabs, is focused on building an entrepreneurial community in Park City, Utah. I read this book for ideas on how we could improve GroupCurrent’s community playbook for PandoLabs. If you’re interested in building (or contributing to) a community, you might find these notes useful.

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My notes

This book was written by the team at People & Company, an agency that helps organizations build communities.

Communities are groups of people who repeatedly come together over what they care about.

The secret to getting people together is to build your community with people, not for them. 

Don’t try to manage a community. Instead, create community leaders.

Community-building = progressive acts of collaboration to build “social capital” 

Social capital = connections among individuals (social networks) and the norms of reciprocity and trustworthiness that arise from them, according to Harvard professor Robert Putnam, author of Bowling Alone.

3 Stages of community building

There are three stages of community building:

  1. Sparking the flame

  2. Stoking the fire

  3. Passing the torch

1. Sparking the flame

In this stage, you need a courageous leader who takes the first step. Personal outreach is key.

Spark a flame by:

  • Pinpointing the people you share a purpose with

  • Doing something together

  • Getting everyone talking

Pinpointing the people you share a purpose with

These are the people who care about what you care about ⇒ there may not be many of them, but they are critical (because they set the initial culture).

Craft a why with the who in mind by answering two questions: 

  1. Who do you want to get together? 

    1. Who do you care about? 

    2. Who do you share an interest, identity, or place with?

    3. Who do you want to help?

    4. Who are you interested in working with for the long haul?

  2. Why are we coming together? 

    1. What is something your people will want to work on with you?

    2. What do your people need more of?

    3. What’s the change your people desire?

    4. What’s the problem only your people can solve together?

Here’s a framework for community purpose ⇒ “Our community brings together ___________ so that we can ____________.”

Your first members will stem from people you already know.

In Bowling Alone, Putnam shares a bridging and bonding framework (Note: He based this on research by Ross Gittell and Avis Vidal in Community Organizing: Building Social Capital as a Development Strategy.)

Bridging and Bonding framework ⇒  Some communities focus on bridging (typically outward looking); other communities focus on bonding (typically inward looking). In reality, communities bond and bridge across different dimensions. They are not “either-or” categories. 

Bonding = community superglue ⇒ but too much bonding can lead to anti-outsider views. Balancing bonding and bridging is key. Use these questions to help maintain balance:

  • What dimensions are my community members bonding over unintentionally?

  • How can I challenge my community to diversify (i.e. build bridges)?

Doing something together

Communities form around shared activities ⇒ these can be virtual or in-person.

You need to identify what shared activities will bring your community together ⇒ What is something your people crave that would be better performed or experienced as a group?

Once you identify the activity, intentionally design it to be:

  1. Purposeful ⇒ Tie it back to why your community exists.

  2. Participatory ⇒ Give members a way to participate & contribute.

  3. Repeatable ⇒ Make it so this can recur and become part of member routines.

Then execute the activity and make sure to:

  1. Over-communicate the community purpose / “why”.

  2. Treat members as collaborators

  3. Market the next activities

Test different shared activities and iterate based on member feedback until you find the right one.

Getting everyone talking

People will come to the first shared activity for various reasons, but they will keep coming for one core reason ⇒ meaningful relationships.

If people talk to each other, they will connect. And stronger 1:1 connections equals stronger community.

To facilitate stronger connections, make it easy for members to share and collaborate with each other on their own time.

Key point ⇒ Make it possible for members to speak directly to each other without having to depend on a leader to play match-maker. (Examples: messaging platforms, email lists, forums, Facebook groups)

Create prompts ⇒ give members excuses / reasons to connect and talk to each other. 

Model good behavior ⇒ act like you want your community members to act.

Moderate with the goal to facilitate and reward the right behavior ⇒ create a code of conduct by answering the following questions

  • What’s our purpose?

  • What is okay?

  • What is not okay?

  • How do members report violations?

  • How will you investigate and enforce the rules?

2. Stoking the fire

Common mistake = not giving community members the chance to volunteer to take on responsibilities. 

Stoke the fire by:

  • Attracting new folks

  • Cultivating your identity

  • Paying attention to who keeps showing up

Attracting new folks

Instead of a push, create a pull ⇒ A good sign = new members join because they want to (i.e. they’re excited about your shared purpose).

Establish your origin story ⇒ this gives everyone the language to explain what the community does and why it exists. A framework for telling an origin story is combing the following three stories into a single narrative:

  • the story of self (the values that are calling on you to act)

  • the story of us (values of others that will call them to act)

  • the story of now (today’s challenge that demands action).

Consistent communication is key ⇒ Make your origin story available everywhere prospective and current members are hanging out.

Share the recruiting responsibility ⇒ Make it clear to members that active involvement is crucial to the success of the community and make it easy for them to share your story. Collect shareable stories  ⇒  Look to members for inspiration. What stories are they organically passing around? Boost these stories.

Words of caution: Prioritize the community purpose over community growth. 

Cultivating your identity

Shared identity brings everyone closer as the community grows. It also is a source of pride.

Pride is a captivating energy. 

Curate pride in the group by

  • Equip members with badges (e.g. images, logos, etc.)

  • Codifying signature rituals (e.g. regular events, a mantra, etc.)

  • Develop a shared language (e.g. a demonym for members)

Paying attention to who keeps showing up

Community member retention is key to sustainable growth.

Track who shows up / participates.

Also, pay attention to lack of participation (e.g. event attendance, messages sent, forum posts / logins) ⇒ understand why they aren’t showing up. Is there something you can do to change this?

Look for hand-raisers ⇒ these are the most passionate community members. They always participate, they invite guests, they volunteer their time and energy to grow the community. Empower them

Sample questions for community research:

  • Can you tell us your name, where you’re from, and a few sentences about yourself? 

  • How did you hear about this community? 

  • Why did you want to be a part of it? 

  • What community activities do you participate in? 

  • What do you get out of participating? 

  • What do you enjoy most? Why? 

  • What’s frustrating? Why? 

  • Are you interested in participating more in the community? 

  • What would you like to do? 

  • If you could wave a magic wand and summon any tool or resource for community members like yourself, what would you ask for? 

  • What other questions should we have asked? 

  • Anything else you’d like to share? 

Listen closely for dissent in your community ⇒ if you make a misstep, take ownership of the mistake and communicate transparently to restore trust.

3. Passing the torch

Pass the torch by:

  • Creating more leaders

  • Supercharging your leaders

  • Celebrating together

Creating more leaders

If your community is dependent on a lone leader, it’s at risk of collapse.

A community’s long-term viability (i.e. reach and impact) is dependent on its ability to find and empower additional leaders.

Caution: When you’re the original leader, trusting others to take over is often a challenge:

  • We get protective, controlling, even paranoid. 

  • We worry about people “not having the same standards” or “misrepresenting the brand.” 

Don’t succumb to fears of losing control ⇒ instead, think of yourself as someone who develops the leadership of others.

Growing a community isn’t about management, it’s about developing leaders. 

Look for the following in potential leaders:

  • Are they genuine in their passion for your community and the people who use it? 

  • Are they already active members in your community?

  • Are they qualified to take on advocacy responsibilities?

  • Do they communicate clearly and with passion?

Supercharging your leaders

With structure, new leaders gain confidence; with freedom, they embrace ownership.

Map out your organization activities ⇒ And focus community leaders on the most valuable activities (while minimizing or eliminating the other activities).

Here are some ways to support leaders:

  • Host trainings

  • Offer coaching

  • Create templates

  • Maintain a knowledge base

  • Record tutorials 

  • Build tools, 

  • Develop checklists and best practices

New leaders breathe life into a community ⇒ the right leaders are worth the investment in recruiting and supporting.

Celebrating together

Celebrations can revitalize a group.

Celebrations ask members to pause and focus.Celebrations are a great time to rest, to reflect on what’s been accomplished, and to discuss what’s next.

For communities, celebrations act as motivators.

In The Art of Gathering, Priya Parker, argues that an effective gathering requires a clear purpose ⇒ “When we don’t examine the deeper assumptions behind why we gather, we end up skipping too quickly to replicating old, staid formats of gathering. And we forgo the possibility of creating something memorable, even transformative.”

Nail down the why of a celebration ⇒ It’s probably related to the community’s purpose ⇒ Why are you getting everyone together? How does this celebration help your community grow?

Clarifying the intention of your celebration often helps narrow in on the logistics: format, attendees, time, and location.

Take time to reflect ⇒ whether you’ve achieved a goal, hit a milestone, or reached an anniversary, you and your people have worked together to push forward your community’s purpose ⇒ take time to appreciate this.

Take time to discuss what’s next ⇒ this can be a great time for alignment and focus moving forward.

Random quotes

“One of the greatest gifts anybody can give is the inspiration to develop courage. If people feel comfortable enough to develop some courage, then they can do anything they really want to do— why, they can devise their own lives.”

—Maya Angelou


“Fires can’t be made with dead embers, nor can enthusiasm be stirred by spiritless men.”

—Baldwin


“People show up for the meetup, but they come back for the people.”

—Scott Heiferman


“The dream of a peaceful society to me is still the dream of the potluck supper. The society in which all can contribute, and all can find friendship.”

—Ursula Franklin