Notes and Takeaways from Robert Cialdini on The Principles of Persuasion
When I listened to it: December 2021
Why I listened to it: In this podcast episode with Shane Parrish, Robert Cialdini shares his seven principles of persuasion. I was originally introduced to Dr. Cialdini’s work by Charlie Munger in his speech, The Psychology of Human Misjudgment, and I’ve wanted to dive deeper ever since.
Go to the podcast listing for the episode or scroll down for my notes.
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My notes
About Robert Cialdini
Dr. Robert Cialdini is the author of Influence and Pre-Suasion, books that have sold more than 7 million copies in 44 different languages. Dr. Cialdini is known globally as the foundational expert in the science of influence and how to apply it ethically in business.
According to his website, gaining power from knowing and using the science of influence comes with great responsibility to:
Be truthful
Forgo manipulation of others
Forgo manipulation of facts
Use the principle(s) that already exist naturally in your situation.
Use the principle that demonstrates what is wise for all concerned
Refrain from using any principle in a way that could injure your relationship.
Inform (that is, educate) people into agreement
Ensure any “contrast” used is relevant to the situation
Own up to any mistake ASAP. And remember the “but”.
About Shane Parrish
Shane Parrish is the founder of Farnam Street Media and the CEO of Syrus Partners, a private investment company. Shane is on the Board of Directors for WeCommerce ($we.v) Shane has an extensive background in Cyber Security, having worked for the Communications Security Establishment in various cybersecurity roles for over a decade.
The difference between influence and manipulation
Influence involves pointing people in the right direction by raising the profile of a persuasion principle in your communication. Manipulation involves fabricating or manufacturing a persuasion principle. Manipulation happens when you coop them, influence happens when you uncover them For example, when you lie with statistics to get someone to believe that a lot of people are buying your product, that’s manipulation. But when you uncover and highlight truthful stats, that’s influence.
The seven principles of persuasion
In his book Influence, Robert Cialdini shares the following seven persuasion principles:
Reciprocation. We feel an obligation to give back to others who have first given to us.
Liking. We say yes to people who we like.
Social Proof. We look to the actions and behaviors of others to determine our own.
Authority. We follow the lead of credible, knowledgeable experts.
Scarcity. We want more of those things we can have less of.
Commitment and Consistency. We prefer to act in a way that is consistent with our previous commitments.
Unity. We are more likely to be influenced by people with whom we have a shared identity.
Each principle is strong on its own, but multiple principles can also work together to create an even stronger influential effect. For example, people are also more influenced by social proof when the proof involves people they like or who are like them.
1. Reciprocation
The rule of reciprocation says we are obligated to give back to others who have first given to us. We feel a future obligation to return what has been provided to us.
In society, we are trained to live by this rule. It’s a great system because it creates a baseline for fair trade and incentivizes collaboration. It gives us the ability to feel safe investing our time and attention into benefiting others. Reciprocal concessions can also save deals. One example of this is the Cuban Missile Crisis.
People who are afraid to give first misunderstand the power of reciprocation. According to this principle, we feel obligated to give back favors at the same level. But if the only way for us to return a favor is to give back at a higher level, we will do that to avoid having to carry the burden of failing to reciprocate. Failing to reciprocate makes us feel like a cheater.
The size of the favor matters. If the favor is small, people’s willingness to reciprocate decreases over time. However, when the favor is large, people’s willingness to reciprocate endures over years.
The relevance of a favor to a person’s goal hierarchy matters too. When the favor is tailored to a person’s immediate needs and preferences, it triggers a higher sense of obligation.
When leveraging the reciprocation principle, going first is key. You have to be the first to give. You don’t say, “if you do X, I’ll give you Y.” That requires the other person to go first. Instead, you say, “I’m giving you this.” One common way to do this is to give others free information about things that will help them (e.g. a white paper or a blog post).
One way to defend yourself against this principle is to recognize when people are using it to manipulate you. For example, if someone gives you a gift as a way to trick you into doing something for them, reframe what they gave you as a trick. When you reframe a gift as a trick, your desire to reciprocate evaporates.
2. Liking
The rule of liking says we say yes to people who we like. We like people who are like us and we like people who like us.
One way to leverage this principle is to point out commonalities you have with someone. Similarities lead to rapport and create bonds. Examples include hobbies, interests, where you grew up, and where you went to school. The internet is a great source for identifying commonalities.
Another way to leverage this principle is to give others praise. We like people who like us and tell us good things about ourselves. For example, Joe Girard, the author of How to Sell Anything to Anybody is the world’s greatest salesperson according to the Guinness Book of Record. He sold an average of six vehicles a day every day that he worked. He would send a greeting card on a holiday every month to everyone who ever bought a vehicle from him. In each card, he wrote one thing: “I like you. —Joe Girard.”
People are more influenced by the liking principle when they’re feeling lonely. When we feel excluded, we seek connection.
One way to defend yourself against this principle is to manage your decision-making process by separating a decision from the people involved in them. You need to make your choice based on the favorable features of a deal and not based on how much you like the person who’s offering you the deal.
3. Social Proof
The rule of social proof says we look to the actions and behaviors of others to determine our own. Social proof is a shortcut we use to reduce uncertainty and increase confidence in our decisions.
People are more influenced by the social proof principle the more uncertain they are. When we’re uncertain about a choice or how to behave in a situation, we’re more likely to look at what other people like us are doing. For example, first-time visitors to a restaurant are more likely to be influenced by third-party reviews and chef recommendations than regulars.
One way to leverage this principle is to point out what others are already doing rather than relying on your own ability to persuade. Examples include highlighting testimonials, third-party reviews, and case studies on your marketing materials.
One way to defend yourself against this principle is to investigate the reliability of the social proof. Check whether the proof is provided by real people and look for evidence of phoniness and manipulation.
#4 Authority
The rule of authority says people follow the lead of credible, knowledgeable experts. Authority is another shortcut we use to reduce uncertainty and increase confidence in our decisions.
This principle is about being an authority, not being in authority. Being an authority is about influencing people with credibility. Being in authority is about forcing people with power.
You can leverage this principle by sharing what makes you a credible, knowledgeable authority before you attempt to influence someone. Another way is to leverage introductions, endorsements, and testimonials from trusted third-party authorities.
One way to defend yourself against this principle is to investigate the credibility of the authority making an endorsement. First, determine whether the person is truly an expert in the field. And second, look into whether they’re acting in an unbiased, independent fashion. For example, if they’re receiving incentive commissions or benefitting from special relationships, the endorsement might not be credible.
#5 Scarcity
The rule of scarcity says people want more of those things they can have less of. People find items that are rare, scarce, or dwindling in availability more attractive. Scarcity applies to both time and space. A temporary deal can expire or supply can run out.
This principle is about the fear of missing out (FOMO). If something is scarce, that means we might not get it. This relates to uncertainty. It’s also related to the concept of loss aversion (demonstrated by Daniel Kahneman) that suggests losing something of a particular value is twice as powerful on human psychology as the idea of gaining that very same thing.
You can leverage this principle by pointing out what is unique about your proposal and what people stand to lose if they fail to consider it. Tell people what they’re missing out on if they go another direction. Also, avoid the word “new”. New suggests uncertainty. Replace “new” with “hear what you’ve been missing”.
#6 Commitment and Consistency
The rule of commitment and consistency says people prefer to act in a way that is consistent with what they have previously said and done. When people make a voluntary commitment to something, they are more likely to live up to it.
People are more influenced by the commitment and consistency principle when they make a commitment in public or in writing.
You can leverage this principle by asking for small voluntary commitments. When people take a small voluntary step in our direction, they become more likely to take a larger step that is congruent with what they have already done. Another way is to use it to increase accountability. For example, anytime you’re running a meeting and you’ve given attendees action items, ask each person directly, “will you be able to complete this by our next meeting?” Then, pause. If the answer is no, that’s good to know and you can dive into why. But if the answer is yes, you will increase the chances that person will complete the action item.
This principle can make it very difficult to change someone’s mind if doing so requires them to act inconsistently with a previous commitment. When you need to change someone’s mind, don’t tell them they’re wrong. Instead, help them see that new information has become available and that the environment has changed in a way that requires them to reevaluate their previous commitment. “If you knew this when you first made your commitment, would you have made the same choice?”
#7 Unity
The rule of unity says people are more likely to be influenced by people with whom they have a shared identity. The more we perceive someone as "one of us”, the more likely we are to be influenced by them.
This is different than the liking principle. It’s not about being like someone in style or preferences. The unity principle is about being one of you. It’s about the categories we use to define our identities such as race, ethnicity, nationality, politics, and religion.
You can leverage this principle by highlighting an identity you share when attempting to influence someone. For example, before making a request from a colleague, you could point out that you are both members of the same local entrepreneurial community.
Random notes
One way to enhance your credibility is to share a mistake you’ve made along with what you learned from it and what you will do in the future to make sure it doesn’t happen again. When you share mistakes upfront, people are more likely to trust and believe what you say.
When you do someone a favor, don’t say, “Ah, don’t think anything of it, no big deal. I would’ve done it for anybody.” Instead, say, “Oh, of course. I know if the situation were ever reversed, you’d do the same for me.” Don’t mention the past, focus on the future to reinforce the reciprocation principle.
When congratulating team members about progress on goals, don’t say, “great progress so far”. Instead, say “great commitment to the goal” to reinforce the commitment principle.